Good Gambling Puns

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50 Genuinely Funny Jokes to make you laugh Last Updated: 8th July 2020. Everyone loves witty jokes. Our hand-picked list of hilarious jokes is guaranteed to make anyone laugh. Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. 26 Puns That Are Too Clever For Their Own Good. I tried to find 10 more really good puns that made me laugh, but no pun in 10 did. By Tanner Greenring. BuzzFeed Staff 1. If you're not into puns.

My girlfriend left me because of my gambling addiction. She claimed I was an idiot.
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📅︎ Jul 18
What do you call a herd of cows gambling at a marijuana dispensary?
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📅︎ Jun 21
I sold all my body parts to feed my gambling addiction.
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📅︎ Jun 07
What do you call the toilet of a king with a gambling addiction?
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📅︎ Mar 17

They told me “you gotta know how to hold em, and how to fold em.”

🤦🏻‍♂️🤦🏻‍♂️🤦🏻‍♂️Dad out.

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📅︎ Jan 04
I'm heartbroken. The Wife broke up with me because of my chronic gambling issues.
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📅︎ Feb 25

... why do they call it para-dice?

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📅︎ Feb 20
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📅︎ Oct 02 2019
I'm gonna bet you 50 bucks that I am no longer addicted to gambling
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📅︎ Dec 01 2019
Where can you look up the definitions of drug abuse, alcoholism, and problem gambling?
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📅︎ Nov 08 2019

I bet them I could go longer than them without gambling.

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📅︎ Jul 10 2019
I was talking to my gambling friend. I told him that I went to the races with my wife.

'Did you win?' he asked.

'Of course not,' I replied. 'We didn't even run.'

Good gambling puns for kids
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📅︎ May 09 2019
Gambling addiction hotlines would do so much better
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📅︎ Feb 13 2019
I tried opening a casino even though gambling was outlawed
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📅︎ Apr 06 2019
My gambling addicted brother has been missing for a while. Last we saw him he lost his life savings in a game of poker.
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📅︎ Jan 20 2019

you poker

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📅︎ Dec 29 2018
a casino was offering free mexican food for all who lost more than $50 in gambling

this is because its clearly nacho lucky day if you lost that much

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📅︎ Nov 12 2018

Good Gambling Puns For Teens

'I wish you would stop gambling!' I shouted at my son.

'You're no better yourself!' he snapped.

I said, 'Exactly. That's why I don't encourage it.'

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📅︎ Jan 12 2019
When did Adam & Eve discover God didn't like gambling?
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📅︎ Jun 06 2018
Did you hear about the buddhist monk with a huge gambling problem?
Good gambling puns jokes
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📅︎ Sep 24 2017

High steaks

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📅︎ Sep 02 2017

Too many damn cheetahs.

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📅︎ Jun 25 2013
That Coldplay song must be about a girl with a serious craps/gambling addiction.
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📅︎ Feb 09 2016
My dad occasionally likes to go gambling in Atlantic City...

Me: How did you like Atlantic City?

Dad: It was great! I came home with a small fortune!

Me: Wow! How did you manage that?

Dad: Well, I left home with a large fortune.

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📅︎ Aug 01 2015

My friend was just about done gambling and he said this.

Friend: well I guess I'm done.Dealer: alright I can color you up if you want.friend gives the dealer his chipsFriend: I'm going to need what Obama promised us Americans?Dealer: what?Friend:'change'Dealer:....

Our other friend started laughing too hard and had to leave the area.

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📅︎ Aug 26 2014

Because there are too many cheetahs.

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📅︎ Jul 16 2013

(got this from my dad, in a chain email no less.)

Do Las Vegas churches accept gambling chips?

This may come as a surprise to those of you not living in Las Vegas , but there are more Catholic churches than casinos.

Not surprisingly, some worshipers at Sunday services will give casino chips rather than cash when the basket is passed.

Since they get chips from many different casinos, the churches have devised a method to collect the offerings.

The churches send all their collected chips to a nearby Franciscan monastery for sorting and then the chips are taken to the casinos of origin and cashed in.

This is done by the chip monks!

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Good Gambling Puns Jokes

📅︎ Aug 14 2014
'What's the one answer to the question 'Gambling Problem?' you don't want to hear?
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📅︎ Dec 31 2013

Too many Cheetahs!

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📅︎ Dec 17 2013

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Good Gambling Puns Clean

The topics for this week’s puns and one liners is gambling jokes. I should add that I’m not much of a gambler; the biggest wagers I seem to make are playing 2p machines at seaside resorts, so I am far from an expert in the topic. As normal, these come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…

I make a bet with a local farmer each year as to which lamb will jump highest. I like a gambol.

Got asked to leave the casino the other night. They said I had a chip on my shoulder.

How do you become a millionaire through gambling? Start as a billionaire.

I’m going to an Abba themed poker night. The winner takes it all.

Lost money betting with with one of the big cats at the zoo. Think he was a cheetah.

Did well at strip poker the other night. I played my socks off.

I gambled on a giraffe race the other day. Mine came second. Lost by a neck. It was nowhere near.

I took a gamble and bought a small boat without seeing it first. It was a punt.

I used to love eating chips until I got barred from the casino.

I bet on a horse at 10-1. It didn’t come in until half past three.

Walking down the road earlier and I tripped over a sign from the local betting shop. What are the odds on that?

A friend of mine keeps insisting on skipping through flower meadows. I think he has a gamboling problem.

Why are large maps rubbish at playing poker? They always fold.

Good Gambling Puns For Money

Last week’s snooker jokes are here.

If you like these gambling jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.

Good Gambling Puns For Kids

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